Comfortably Out of Control

Ever feel like your life is out of control? There is a word which defines that feeling, it is called "normal." I wonder if we are in fact out of control more than we realize. We may have convinced ourselves that we are in control, when in fact the things that convince us we are in control, instead anesthetize us from the reality that we are out of control.

Here is a definition of control from Dictionary.com, "1. to exercise restraint or direction over; to dominate, to command. 2. to hold in check, to curb, a control a horse or one's emotions. 4. To eliminate or prevent the flourising or spread of, to control a forest fire."

When comparing this definition to areas of my own life that I feel in control, I am wondering whether or not I am in control. For instance, scheduling my kids in all the sporting and music events that will make them happy and well-adjusted. Is this an act of control over my kids life, or does this end up controlling me? When I consider how much time I spend planning, attending and traveling for these events, not to mention how much I spend on these events, I wonder if the defintion above demonstrates that these activities control me, more than anything else.

As I have a new cell phone with the data package. This provides a tremendous sense of control over emails and communications with people. However, does this data package end up dictating to me and interrupting my life? Does this data package complete with emails and texting prevent me from flourishing? Professionally, it may help, but personally will it affect my family time?

When I examine my own calendar I come to a similar conclusion. I love to organize my calendar and continually re-examine it and update it. I know why I love to do this. When I do this, I feel in control! However, more often it can be my calendar which dictates my life, more than anything else?

Could it be that our lives are much more out of control than we realize? Biblically speaking, we learn that Jesus, the Author and Sustainer of all life and creation, holds everything together. How ironic when I feel as though I have to hold everything together through my own planning, through my data packaging and through my obsessive calendarizing. I wonder what my life would be like, if I could be comfortable with my life being out of my own control, but completely under Christ's control?